Rental Reads



1: Train spotting by Irvine Welsh
2: Einstein by Walter Isaacson
3: The complete James Bond short stories by Ian Fleming
4: The Take by Martine Cook
5: Lets pretend this never happened by Jenny Lawson
6: Mr Briggs Hat by Kate Colquhoun
7: I know why a caged bird sings by Maya Angelou
8: The statistical probability of love at first sight by Jennifer smith
9: 28 storied of aids in Africa by Stephanie Nolan 

And i have recently read Gin and daggers + Martinis and mayhem by Jessica Fletcher.
Defiantly recommended to every one all the Jessica Fletcher books
 
Have you read any of these books, what did you think of them?
 
Foe company i have my little man in bed with me (he not so little now!)


Pocket Tazer Stun Gun, a great gift for the wife.

ONLY A MAN WOULD ATTEMPT THIS

Just try reading this without laughing till you cry!!!

Pocket Tazer Stun Gun, a great gift for the wife.

A guy who purchased his lovely wife a pocket Tazer for their anniversary submitted this:

Last weekend I saw something at Larry's Pistol & Pawn Shop that sparked my interest. The occasion was our 15th anniversary and I was looking for a little something extra fo
r my wife Julie. What I came across was a 100,000-volt, pocket/purse-sized Tazer.

The effects of the Tazer were supposed to be short lived, with no long term adverse affect on your assailant, allowing her adequate time to retreat to safety...??

WAY TOO COOL! Long story short, I bought the device and brought it home... I loaded two AAA batteries in the darn thing and pushed the button. Nothing! I was disappointed. I learned, however, that if I pushed the button and pressed it against a metal surface at the same time, I'd get the blue arc of electricity darting back and forth between the prongs.

AWESOME!!! Unfortunately, I have yet to explain to Julie what that burn spot is on the face of her microwave.

Okay, so I was home alone with this new toy, thinking to myself that it couldn't be all that bad with only two AAA batteries, right?

There I sat in my recliner, my cat Gracie looking on intently (trusting little soul) while I was reading the directions and thinking that I really needed to try this thing out on a flesh & blood moving target.

I must admit I thought about zapping Gracie (for a fraction of a second) and then thought better of it. She is such a sweet cat. But, if I was going to give this thing to my wife to protect herself against a mugger, I did want some assurance that it would work as advertised.

Am I wrong?

So, there I sat in a pair of shorts and a tank top with my reading glasses perched delicately on the bridge of my nose, directions in one hand, and Tazer in another.

The directions said that:

a one-second burst would shock and disorient your assailant;

a two-second burst was supposed to cause muscle spasms and a major loss of bodily control; and

a three-second burst would purportedly make your assailant flop on the ground like a fish out of water.

Any burst longer than three seconds would be wasting the batteries.

All the while I'm looking at this little device measuring about 5" long, less than 3/4 inch in circumference (loaded with two itsy, bitsy AAA batteries); pretty cute really, and thinking to myself, 'no possible way!'

What happened next is almost beyond description, but I'll do my best.

I'm sitting there alone, Gracie looking on with her head cocked to one side so as to say, 'Don't do it stupid,' reasoning that a one second burst from such a tiny Lil ole thing couldn't hurt all that bad.. I decided to give myself a one second burst just for heck of it.

I touched the prongs to my naked thigh, pushed the button, and...

HOLY MOTHER OF GOD. WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION. WHAT THE... !!!

I'm pretty sure Hulk Hogan ran in through the side door, picked me up in the recliner, then body slammed us both on the carpet, over and over and over again. I vaguely recall waking up on my side in the fetal position, with tears in my eyes, body soaking wet, both nipples on fire, testicles nowhere to be found, with my left arm tucked under my body in the oddest position, and tingling in my legs! The cat was making meowing sounds I had never heard before, clinging to a picture frame hanging above the fireplace, obviously in an attempt to avoid getting slammed by my body flopping all over the living room.

Note:
If you ever feel compelled to 'mug' yourself with a Tazer,
one note of caution:

There is NO such thing as a one second burst when you zap yourself! You will not let go of that thing until it is dislodged from your hand by a violent thrashing about on the floor!
A three second burst would be considered conservative!

A minute or so later (I can't be sure, as time was a relative thing at that point), I collected my wits (what little I had left), sat up and surveyed the landscape.

My bent reading glasses were on the mantel of the fireplace.
· The recliner was upside down and about 8 feet or so from where it originally was.
· My triceps, right thigh and both nipples were still twitching..
· My face felt like it had been shot up with Novocain, and my bottom lip weighed 88 lbs.
· I had no control over the drooling.
· Apparently I had crapped in my shorts, but was too numb to know for sure, and my sense of smell was gone.
· I saw a faint smoke cloud above my head, which I believe came from my hair.
I'm still looking for my testicles and I'm offering a significant reward for their safe return!

PS: My wife can't stop laughing about my experience, loved the gift and now regularly threatens me with it!

If you think education is difficult, try being stupid!!!!

I cried with laughter reading this

24 hour Read a Thon

UPDATE 1: It's 9.30 and i have just started reading.

Today i decided i am having a 24 hour read-a-thon (a bit like a marathon but with books and no running also i get to stay in bed all day, warm)
I woke up this morning made a brew and immediately started reading my book i am reading about Einstein, Its a great book.
I will be updating threw out the day every couple of hours then at 9.30 pm tonight i will finally post this blog post.

I am reading:

Einstein: His life and the universe by Walter Isaacson
The great train robbery: The untold story from the closed investigation files by Andrew Cook
Quantum of solace: The complete James Bond short stories by Ian Fleming
Highway Code

never forget the chocolate!!
Everything will be kept up to date on my Goodreads page LINK

UPDATE 2: Time for my first break 11.55 AM
I have been reading since 9.30 time to refresh the brew and stretch my legs.
Also make something to eat i have been eating chocolate all morning, as much as i like chocolate i need other food.
A much as i am trying to read their are so many distraction for me magazines, sometimes getting bored of the same book, computer, other blog posts i want to read, twitter, my dogs. I WILL NOT GIVE UP!

UPDATE 3: 15.41 pm Time to feel human
Even tho i have been reading all day and no one has seen me i still had to get a wash and brush my teeth.
I have been studying the Highway code (i am learning to drive. I class that as a book to read).
Made a brew and had sandwiches for dinner - ate more chocolate.
I have read properly for about 1 hour since my last post which is terrible so back to it now, no distractions!!!!
Oh and my husband came in with a Grazia magazine more distraction...Oh and the mags really poop!

UPDATE 4: Its 19.44 and i am still reading.
Well i have read a bit today i am not too happy with it i could have read a bit more (i am easily distracted) and i have only read one book as well. Shameful!
Also i had my tea but that only take 1/2 hour out of reading. (fishing for a defense here)
In my defense the writing is so tiny in this book you have to read it carefully to get the words right, there are a few sentences and pages i have had to read again just to understand them its a great book but you need to concentrate on it. 
Einstein: His live and the universe by Walter Isaacson 

Small writing and bad camera skills don't go together!
UPDATE 5: 22.53 The End!
Its about 11 at night and i have finally stopped reading.
Overall i am not very happy with myself i can usually get threw a few books when i do a read-a-thon but not this time stuck to one book and hardly read any of it. Not happy with ones self.
Wise words to yourself: Stop getting distracted, you do not need the internet as much as you use it. Get back into the groove of reading, you do that best.


Rental Reads

Rentals from the library

I have been very excited about this book
Albert Einstein is synonymous with genius. From his remarkable theory of relativity and the famous equation E=mc2 to his concept of a unified field theory, no one has contributed as much to science in the last century.
As well as showing how Einstein developed his theories, "Einstein" reveals the man behind the science, from his early years and experiments in Germany and his struggle to find work at the Swiss patent office to his marriages and children, his role in the development of the atomic bomb, and his work for civil rights groups in the United States.
Drawing on new research and personal documents belonging to Einstein only recently made available, this book also includes items of rare facsimile memorabilia, to show you more than this scientist's groundbreaking theories.

This is a modern version i am not too sure but i will read it anyway
The Great Train Robbery of 1963 is one of the most (in)famous crimes in British history. The bulk of the money stolen (equivalent to £40 million today) has never been recovered. There has not been a single year since 1963 when one aspect or another of the crime or its participants has not been featured in the media, and there is no sign that public interest in this subject is abating—quite the opposite, in fact. With the 50th anniversary approaching, interest will no doubt increase even more. The Great Train Robbery will examine new evidence (including previously classified documents from the Metropolitan Police, Home Office and Foreign Office) as to why such a meticulously planned crime failed during the getaway, how the establishment conspired to ensure harsh sentences, how the driver of the train was manipulated, and how the police investigation was mishandled, and will reveal what happened to the money

I got the wrong book but it sound good tho
Bringing together all of the James Bond short stories in one volume for the first time, this is the ultimate celebration of suave and deadly secret agent 007. Whether he's making an unexpected discovery in the Bahamas hunting down a Cuban hit man in wild country, smashing an international drug ring in Rome, on the trail of a murderous assassin in Berlin's sniper alley, dangerous missions and beautiful women come with the job for James Bond. And this agent is always a consummate professional.

This is a follow on from the Bond weeks i have been having check it out 
i had a very busy week LINK I still have 6 books to read from the bong collection
 but its going great.



The Devotion Project

Recently i watched a short film on youtube from The Devotion Project and i cried this short film is true love and perfect happiness but also sadness and. 
I just wanted to share it with you all i think it is so heart warming to find 
true love in all forms.
Support LGBT, Support Love!


Here's an explanation of The Devotion Project




 
You can get involved with The Devotion Project 
 

James Bond 007 Week

Lucky Lucky here check out what i am reading all of the books by Ian Fleming AKA James Bond. I had them all on order but the nice library lady had them down the seller so i got them a week earlier so this amazing Sunday Afternoon post is all about the very very lucky James Bond! (in bed and out)...!
Along with many cups of tea!.
 
Here a link to the 007 website Here
 
What a Sunday :)

Since i was a child it has always been my dream to be a Bond Woman. I have just done a quiz to find out which Bond Lady i am my results where Pussy Galore.

The Sexy Bond Ladies: 
Ursala Ardress - Dr No
Danielle Binanchie - From Russia with love
Claudine Auger - Thunder-ball
Mie Hama - You only live twice
Dianna Rigg - On her majesty secret service
Jill St John - Diamonds are forever
Jane Seymour - Live and let die
Britt Ekland - The man with the Golden gun
Barbara Bach - The spy who loved me
Lois Chiles - Moonracker
Carole Bouquet - For your eyes only
Maud Adams - Octo pussy
Tanya Roberts - A view to a kill
Maryam d'Abo - The living daylights
Carey Lowell - Licence to kill
Izabella Scorupca - GoldernEye
Michelle Yeoh - Tomorrow never dies
Denise Richards - The world is not enough
Hallie Berry - Die another day
Eva Green - casino Royale
Olga Kurylenko - Quantum of solace 
Berenice Marlohe - Sky fall

10 Important facts about James Bond:
1: Roger Moore was the oldest actor to debut as Bond (he was 45 when Live and Let Die was filmed) and 58 when filming finished on A View To a Kill in 1985.
2: At 6’ 2” Timothy Dalton was the tallest of the Bond actors. At 5’ 10” Daniel Craig 
is the shortest. 
3: Daniel Craig is the only Bond actor to be born after the Bond series began. 
4: Timothy Dalton’s Bond was the last to smoke cigarettes.
5: When accepting the role of Bond, and aware of the dangers of being typecast, Pierce Brosnan insisted that he be allowed to work on other movies between the Bond films. For every Bond movie, Bros nan appeared in at least two other mainstream films.
6: Judy Dench has the 007 theme tune as her mobile ring tone. The actress, who has played MI6 head M since Golden-eye in 1995, was filming a scene for latest Bond film Sky fall when her phone rang.
7: From Dr No to Quantum of Solace, James Bond has killed 352 people and slept with 
52 women.
8: Golden-eye is the nickname of Fleming's beachfront house in Jamaica where he wrote the Bond novels and short stories between 1952 and 1964.
9: George Lazenby was the youngest actor to play James Bond, being 30 when On Her Majesty's Secret Service was released.
10: James Bond is the longest-running film franchise, with 22 films made since Dr No in 1962. It’s also the second most successful (after Harry Potter, of course); grossing more than $5bn.
Time for another brew now and some reading :)
 


This is taking more than a week i am going on my second and i still have 6 books to read!!

Happy St Patrick Day



Hi guys as its St Patrick's Day i thought id leave you some great Irish music.





This is one of my fave's

DIY: MY STUDDED CAP


What you need:
Baseball Cap (any color)
Silver studs (any style, shape, size)

How to:
1: Make sure the hat is clean.
2: Push the stud on to the hat.
3: turn it over and push the spikes down to keep the stud in place, 
Carry on doing this till you have your design

The hat i got for £2.18 plus postage from Ebay
The studs i already had

And the model today is Arnold he's just showing you how he roll's!


My hat orange is my fave colour

My studs









Rental Reads

Today i went to the library the nice librarian says i should start living there now that would be a dream come true this is what i have got so far.
 
Arman's Journey by Philip Prowser
 
Big hair day by Margaret Johnson

 
Love is blind by Kathy Lette
 
Requiem by Jack Ross
 
They fuck you up: How to survive family life by Oliver James
 
Twenty thousand leagues under the sea by Jules Verne
 
The never ending story by Michael Ende


Rental Reads

I choose this book because i have always been interested  in the findings
and history of robin hood
Everyone has heard of Robin Hood, the brilliant archer who 'robbed the rich to give to the poor' and who always triumphed over the forces of evil, but the man behind the legend is as mysterious as King Arthur. There were outlaws who lived in the royal forests preying on unwary travelers, and Robin Hoods whose names are recorded in historical documents: but no one has been able to prove that one of these real Robins was the individual whose exploits were commemorated in ballad and song.David Baldwin sets out to find the real Robin Hood, looking for clues in the earliest ballads and in official and legal documents of the thirteenth and fourteenth centuries. His search takes him to the troubled reign of King Henry III, and to Henry's difficult and deteriorating relationship with his brother-in-law Simon de Montfort, Earl of Leicester. Earl Simon became a popular hero, a man who, it was thought, might have changed everything for the better, and who was credited with miracles in the aftermath of his death at the battle of Evesham. Supporters who continued to oppose the government inherited his mantle, and one of them, a man named Roger Godberd who retreated to the forest and defied the sheriff, won notoriety and respect in equal measure. Later generations added much to the story, but Godberd, Baldwin argues, is the original outlaw hero.

He one of the most amazing actors so when the librarian woman asked if i would like
to read this i jumped to the chance
Steven Spielberg called him "the best actor in the world," about which Postlethwaite said: "I'm sure what Spielberg actually said was, 'the thing about Pete is that he thinks he's the best actor in the world.'" This is the story of a diverse and multi-talented actor's eventful life, told in his own vibrant words as he was at the end of it

I didn't exactly choose this book myself it was choose threw my new reading group i joined but there are certain parts that are interesting in the book.
 A short history of everybody for the last 13,000 years

Explaining what William McNeill called The Rise of the West has become the central problem in the study of global history. In Guns, Germs, and Steel Jared Diamond presents the biologist's answer: geography, demography, and ecological happenstance. Diamond evenhandedly reviews human history on every continent since the Ice Age at a rate that emphasizes only the broadest movements of peoples and ideas. Yet his survey is binocular: one eye has the rather distant vision of the evolutionary biologist, while the other eye--and his heart--belongs to the people of New Guinea, where he has done field work for more than 30 years.


This book got recomended to me threw one of my friend on goodreads.com
One of E. M. Forster's most celebrated novels, "A Room With a View" is the story of a young English middle-class girl, Lucy Honeychurch. While vacationing in Italy, Lucy meets and is wooed by two gentlemen, George Emerson and Cecil Vyse. After turning down Cecil Vyse's marriage proposals twice Lucy finally accepts. Upon hearing of the engagement George protests and confesses his true love for Lucy. Lucy is torn between the choice of marrying Cecil, who is a more socially acceptable mate, and George who she knows will bring her true happiness. "A Room With a View" is a tale of classic human struggles such as the choice between social acceptance or true love

I have always wanted to read all the books by Jules Verne now i live behind a library i can.
French naturalist Dr. Aronnax embarks on an expedition to hunt down a sea monster, only to discover instead the Nautilus, a remarkable submarine built by the enigmatic Captain Nemo. Together Nemo and Aronnax explore the underwater marvels, undergo a transcendent experience amongst the ruins of Atlantis, and plant a black flag at the South Pole. But Nemo's mission is one of revenge-and his methods coldly efficient

My first ever book club

Hi everyone i know its been a while since i have posted anything at all from books to DIY i am very sorry.

But today i have bitten the bullet and i asked at the library about their book club the nice lady told me to turn up at the library at 5.30 and she would direct me to the book club, i did just that. 
This is the first time i have ever joined a book club and i have to admit i was nervous, not too sure why but i was and it was not what i expected but still good and i have decided to stay.

The man that runs the club is called Glen and is a really nice man all the ladies where just finishing a book so they spoke about it, i stayed quiet and just watched and took in how they did things.
They where all talking about the book then the conversation turned into religion and i kinda tuned out after that!
They are all elderly ladies and 2 guys out of 12 altogether (including me) 
The book we got handed this month is called GUNS, GERMS AND STEEL BY JARED DIAMOND Link

How the club works: 
We have a meeting the first Monday of every month
We get a new book on the day as well
The club is from 5.30 till 7
We have the month to read the book